|
| It sure has been a long time. But really when I look at things nothing really profound or exciting has happened. I worked too much and had to cut back because I wasn't floatin well in school. . I finally decided I might need a minor. I'm starting the process of transferring to UNL for next fall. . I still own the same crappy car I got when I was 16. It always breaks and I usually have to use the money I'm trying to save for a new car to fix the stupid thing. I have hope though. I finally am receiving enough financial aid from the government that I can actually save my money for school at UNL and maybe someday a new car. So, at some level things are going better then previous years however i know that one day i'll have to pay back the government and that will suck but maybe i'll be making enough money that it will all be worth it. . but then again the money i amake at my job isn't what makes me want to do it. . for me it is interesting and i think it will give me a sense of purpose. what more could a person want, than to know where they belong and feel like things are ok.? not much more in my book. megs~ | | |
| i feel like i jumped in the deep end! oh what am i gonna do? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
lol
but seriously i'm taking some pretty hard classes wow! crazy! and i still work! holy moly! we shall see what happens! cross the fingers and hope things go well!
on a positive note I HAD AN AWESOME VACATION TO COLORADO WITH MY WONDERFUL BOYFRIEND AND CHRIS AND KRISTEN! IF YOU WANNA HEAR A STORY OR TWO ASK ME AND I'LL TEL LYA!
WE HAD SOME FUN TIMES!
i needed it and man did it feel good!
megs~ | | |
| so i saved up a bumch of reward points on my credit card and i just redeemed some of them for a new toaster for my parents because ours is sooo old it burns everything! lol i thought i'd be nice to them i owe them alot! besides everything else was stupid......
welp that is all i have to say!
megs~ | | |
| Some days I feel like a coward. I don't have the courage to face him. Then other days things are ok. We went to Lincoln as a family last weekend, before my brother left for Wayne. They wanted us to go through their things and take things of his that we wanted. Those moments felt like he was dead even though he was sitting in the livingroom. People loaded up on things, but me I just can't seem to do that. I feels like we are giving up on him. Like all the hope of tomorrow is gone. It makes me cry inside and that's a pain I don't want to have right now. I guess part of me doesn't want to admit he is dying. I don't want to say goodbye. Have you ever had one person that believed in you with all of their heart. They urged you on and always had faith in you? Once he told me (when i was little) that he believed that I could do anything I wanted with my life because I would never give up. It hurts me so much now because I'm struggling so much in my own life at this point to know that he believes I will be something great is almost too much. What if I'm never what he believed I could be? How can I let a dying man down? He always thought that what I longed to devote my life to was worth something when most people thought it silly and made fun of what they could not understand. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and there are chains around my ankles. I'm hoping the move the UNL will be what I need to get the ball rolling and fulfill my dreams as well as prove to everyone that I am going to be something, someone, not just another face in the crowd. Right now it's just very hard to believe that much of anything beyond my friends and family is any good. | | |
| i'm still alive still kickin, still tryin to break out of this stupid glass box! i feel like a bug! ewwwwwwwww
anyhow i work too much but not by choice, i gotta pay for my education somehow, i can't seem to get it to pay for it's self. bah ohwell!
i'll be outa town from the 15th of August to the 20th of August on my one and only vacation! goin to the mountains! sweet deal huh? yippy! then i got to jump back into the school thing on the 21st! blech!
i'll put up pictures when i get back!
megs~ | | |
|
